Ye-HaTHE NATURAL vs. Good Tasting Pizza
I have four pizza joints that deliver to my house. One is an independent joint that makes edible pizza, but the cost for a pie is between $16-$20, and it's just not worth that much money. The other three are the evil trinity of Dominos, Papa John's and Pizza Hut. Since ordering a pizza so horrible I couldn't even finish a slice, Papa John's has not been an option for years. So, one night at home, with no food and an outside temperature just below "I'm not leavin' this motherfucker," I had the choice of Dominos and Pizza Hut. Depressing.
So, I check out their websites for deals and Pizza Hut won with a $5 off coupon. I decided to try "The Natural," since a crowd in their commercial was oh so fooled by the totally reputable nameless man in a goofy chef hat that I've never seen in a commercial kitchen. "Oh, wow! It's Pizza Hut?"
The pizza is delivered to my door in just 53 minutes. On a Thursday. At nine at night. I guess natural shit takes extra time to bake through a robotic conveyor oven. It looks like a normal pizza-normal thin cut small gauge pepperoni, mozz, grease. The crust was slightly darker.
At first bite, I could taste the fear of Pizza Hut food scientists of unleashing real tomato flavor onto the public, because it had more salt than their normal paste. It also tasted like the tomatoes were sun dried which belongs on the pizza of a person desiring to be slapped...by me. The dough had normal, Hut-esque texture on the bottom, however between the bottom and the sauce was a glue textured layer of carbohydrate goo. That must be the "natural" talking.
I got through three slices, and for four hours had the feeling that I ate a full jar of Nickelodeon Gak washed down with seawater.
Don't ever expect these big chains to get it right. They're too ingrained in making terrible pizza that only delivers the fast food goods: safe flavors and shitloads of sodium. They need to leave it to restaurants like Z Pizza, who uses natural and organic products already, and also know how to make real pizza crust in which they bake in a brick oven. I eat it whenever I go to this overpriced pet food store, and it makes me forget that I spent more on my dog's food than groceries with it's delicious pizzas (the Greek is so fantastic).
So, I check out their websites for deals and Pizza Hut won with a $5 off coupon. I decided to try "The Natural," since a crowd in their commercial was oh so fooled by the totally reputable nameless man in a goofy chef hat that I've never seen in a commercial kitchen. "Oh, wow! It's Pizza Hut?"
The pizza is delivered to my door in just 53 minutes. On a Thursday. At nine at night. I guess natural shit takes extra time to bake through a robotic conveyor oven. It looks like a normal pizza-normal thin cut small gauge pepperoni, mozz, grease. The crust was slightly darker.
At first bite, I could taste the fear of Pizza Hut food scientists of unleashing real tomato flavor onto the public, because it had more salt than their normal paste. It also tasted like the tomatoes were sun dried which belongs on the pizza of a person desiring to be slapped...by me. The dough had normal, Hut-esque texture on the bottom, however between the bottom and the sauce was a glue textured layer of carbohydrate goo. That must be the "natural" talking.
I got through three slices, and for four hours had the feeling that I ate a full jar of Nickelodeon Gak washed down with seawater.
Don't ever expect these big chains to get it right. They're too ingrained in making terrible pizza that only delivers the fast food goods: safe flavors and shitloads of sodium. They need to leave it to restaurants like Z Pizza, who uses natural and organic products already, and also know how to make real pizza crust in which they bake in a brick oven. I eat it whenever I go to this overpriced pet food store, and it makes me forget that I spent more on my dog's food than groceries with it's delicious pizzas (the Greek is so fantastic).
 Add Comments
|
|
