NealTyler Florence: Ultimate Asshole
August 4th 2008 10:05
I was sick the other day, laid out on the couch watching television in my three hours out of bed. I can't remember what I was watching on the Food Network prior to having an encounter with Tyler's Ultimate, because his show bothered me that much.
I only know this dweeb from seeing him on Applebee's commercials. Alright, this guy is some celebrated chef yet creates menu items at a god awful family restaurant chain? "A seasoned New York strip with beer battered onion rings. Is anyone seriously that impressed with beer batter to begin with? It's not a fucking souffle, it's eggwash with beer. So anyways, his show comes on and he begins to make "Ultimate Tacos."
First off, how do you know, Tyler? Am I, the viewer, obviously some uncultured swine that hasn't tried salsa, or gravy? Because I can't afford such luxuries as Applebee's? You condescending hack! If I told people "this is the best salsa you will ever have, and I made it" they'd think I was an arrogant, condescending dick. In the wise words of Floyd, "Don't condescend me, man. I'll fuckin' kill you, man."
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